The Chianti Chronicles
A series of short stories by Kevin J. Cullen
All-Inclusive Shock Therapy
Overview:
A young man embarks on an unusual vacation that prepares him for an equally unexpected reunion.
Excerpt:
“She was a customer. She came into my shop on a very slow evening and said she wanted to get tattoos on each of her inner thighs – an angel on her left thigh and a devil on her right.”
The Ghostwriter of Christmas Past
Overview: ​
A former professor suffering from early dementia holds a secret that will change the life of his caretaker.
Excerpt:​
“Camilla just reached over, held Mr. Patton’s hand, and sat silently with him. He glanced over and affectionately smiled at her the way a grandfather would to his dear granddaughter.”
Day Drinking at the Cemetery
Overview: ​
The head chef at a popular local restaurant who doubts his fitness to be a father makes an unexpected friend in a cemetery.
Excerpt:​
“He was sipping on a drink and watching a sprinkler as it slowly watered the freshly planted flowers at the gravesite directly in front of him. There was also an additional empty lawn chair next to his.”
Gonad's Revenge
Overview:
A man’s desire for vengeance leads to a profound choice.
Excerpt:
“Rex and Benjamin both obediently nodded in agreement as that exchange severely stunned them. After a very long silent pause, Harrison asked them, ‘Are those cucumbers in your pockets or are you just happy to see me?’”
The Dead Don't Bitch
Overview:
The son of a recently deceased funeral director faces a surprising future.
Excerpt:
“She wore a black sleeveless mid-thigh cocktail dress with a lacy white shawl and high heels, and her hair was styled in shoulder-length micro braids. Gregory’s jaw dropped in complete admiration as she slowly glided toward him.”
Lefty the Protected Witness
Overview:
A former hitman in hiding gets a visit from an unexpected individual.
Excerpt:
“He checked the live view from his security system and he was freaked out at what he saw. The black pickup truck with New York plates was parked in his driveway with the inside light on.”
Who Hired the Hitman?
Overview:
A zany wedding goes awry.
Excerpt:
“Earlier in the evening, the drunken slob (who I learned is also a moron) temporarily woke up from his drunken stupor and intended to throw a meatball at his obnoxious cousin who was sitting at the next table. He misfired and hit me instead.”
Purple Toes
Overview:
An axe misfire on a snowy day leads to an extremely strange transplant.
Excerpt:
“…. I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, he was gone and I mystically found myself lying naked and wrapped in a blanket on a couch. I was surrounded by a bunch of people who were dressed formally in gowns and tuxedos.”
The Eloquent Exterminators
Overview:
A bizarre series of romantic misadventures becomes the basis for newfound success.
Excerpt:
“I’m naturally nervous, especially with my seemingly doomed track record. I guess tomorrow night could be another crushing disaster if I run into some crazy shit like I usually do. Or, it could be one of the greatest nights of my life if it’s uneventful.”
Rest In Peace Johnnie B. Quigley
Overview:
Two ex-cons/friends reunite to rectify a botched job.
Excerpt:
“…. she sought out Johnnie because she overheard a conversation between her father and her stepbrother. They were talking about a guy named Dick Tanski, who they paid to have killed.”
The Chianti Chronicles, Volume Two:
Life's a Comedy, That's Not Always Funny
